Dustbury complains about the "turgid spew" that is the prose of a penis-enlargement spam he received. Isn't that just a case of form following function? Here's the first meaning of "turgid" according to Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary:

Distended beyond the natural state by some internal agent or expansive force; swelled; swollen; bloated; inflated; tumid; -- especially applied to an enlarged part of the body; as, a turgid limb; . . . .

Sounds to me like just what the doctor ordered. I particularly like the discreet ambiguity of "part" and the slightly evasive use of "limb".